A curse that sometimes haunts

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Over the years of having a boyfriend who has been married in the past i've had to learn about Jealousy.  

It is a curse. It will consume you if you let it.

Ive never in my life ever thought that I was a jealous person. Ive never been one to look at others and wish for what they have. I am happy to say that I normally smile and feel glad for them, and maybe ask them for what their elixer is for a happy life.

I think as a young chick you tend to daydream about your perfect guy. I never dreamed of falling in love with a guy who 13 years my senior, has an ex wife and a young child. Never. I was not prepared for any of it. But after hooking up with Simon I found myself jealous of contact that he would have with his ex wife, stories of his past and the baggage that came with that. It took me a while to re-adjust my thinking and realise that she is his ex for a reason, and if he still loved her they would be together.

Yesterday though I had a haunting of jealousy which completely fuelled such an angry fire... and reminded me of how curses can grip your life if you enable it. I was so angry that she (the ex wife) had ruined or perished a part of Simon. That I am left to deal with her unkind words and actions that have killed a part of him. That I see what she does to him when she writes manipulating emails or rings...and I was pissed/angry/sad/over it. 

It suprised me to see how quickly I went through a vortex of emotions, how the curse ravaged and engolfed me.... and the only person who could change that was me. Not her, not him, but me. I was the only person manifesting this shitty horrible feeling.

After seeing what I had scribbled in my diary and the time it took me to realise what was going on, I was so suprised that i'd let jealousy come creeping back in.

I think I really wanted to share this post so that people out there don't waste their energy, time, love on jealousy.

That shit will destroy you. You are better than that.

In good vibes & love. 

Linda xxx.